18 Looking to be controlled over Summer

I knew exactly exactly what I was going to say 5 minutes ago and then now I’m staring at the big white box my mind is blanking and Im trying to convince myself this is still a good idea..

Im 18 and half Asian half white. Im about to have my last day of high school ever and then my life will basically be working at my parents restaurant (waitressing and helping out however they tell me to) all summer as my friends party.

Im really really embarrassingly into race play erotica and race play humiliation fantasies and imagining being made to feel like a dirty little Hapa mongrel which is a secret between you and me internet stranger, because there’s no way I’m ever telling any one IRL about the awkward thoughts that come into my brain when I should be studying or sleeping!!

I’ve read stuff on this place a few times and I’ve started to maybe imagine posting anonymously and finding someone also into this who might want to make my Summer less boring by treating me like the dirty little hapa I am. I don’t know if that would be you telling me what to do when I’m at work or at home or talking dirty to me or what.. but in my head I’m too excited now not to post but as soon as I do Im going to throw my phone to the other side of my bed and hide in my bed hugging my pillow until I get brave and curious enough to see it any one anyone actually replies