28 let’s find love on the internet, nothing bad could possibly happen

Do you like women who know what they want? Look no further. May I present, myself. I already have my funeral planned, right down to me being taxidermied and a bedazzled coffin. If that doesn’t tell you I know what I’m looking for, I don’t know what will. If you don’t like your women slightly weird, I am not the one for you.

I’m looking for long term, I really want to dive deep with one guy. I’m pretty available for talking throughout the days, and I don’t have restraints on the weekends/nights, and I’d prefer men who don’t either. No preference on looks, just please be able to string together a sentence and spell at least half the words correctly.

I’m married, white, have long dark hair, occasionally wear glasses if I can remember to, and have a collection of random tattoos. I hate pickles, and I hate when you’re eating a sandwich with crunchy bread and it cuts the top of your mouth and then you spend all day playing with the cut with your tongue.

Please be ready for an affair if you’re going to dm me. This means knowing you actually want one, along with all the feelings and communication that comes with it. I’m tired of pouring my all into these situations, and getting nothing in return.