43 Your Annotated Guide to r/OA ads

>Title: 43\[\] localer looking for fun, flirty connection

I live a short drive from Toronto, but if I say Toronto, someone who knows me will figure out who I am. I mean, really, there's 9.5 million people here, how hard can it be?

>Good morning!

"My name is1someone and I'm..." Wait, this isn't a meeting, carry on.

>Looking for that special someone to share my day with.

I really want someone to listen to me bitch about my day and then give me jerk-off material. Plus, I need someone to send a picture of my genitalia to ASAP. I hear that's all the rage these days.

>Happily married,

I'm so happily married that I'm making a post looking for someone to talk to about my happiness. That's how it works here.

>not looking to change your situation or mine.

Of *course* I want something to change. Just, you know, divorces are expensive, and who'll do my laundry? (Do you know why they're expensive? They're worth it.)

>I'm 6'4", 150 lbs, light brown hair and rocking a six-pack.

OK, really I'm 5'6", 325 lbs, and have the whole keg available. But if I don't make myself sound like Adonis, I'll never get a response.

>I like all sorts of outdoor activities,

...when someone else is playing them, they're fun to watch on TV. I might actually even do something like golf, fish or "hike" (read: walk in a park).

>working out,

...Assuming I even go to the gym regularly, fifteen minutes on a treadmill is all I need, right?

>watching television,

...which is pretty much all I do on evenings and weekends...

>and listening to music.

...in the car.

>I'm highly educated,

...for my friends group...

>well-read and can carry a conversation.

I read a lot of Facebook and Reddit, so surely I have a diverse perspective. It's not like those sites would tailor content to me that I generally agree with and avoid showing me other viewpoints... right?

>I have Kik, SnapChat, TikTok, Telegraph, this site Chat and Google Hangouts.

Ouija boards and Western Union telegram available upon request. Also carrier pigeons, but those are difficult to train and messy to clean up after.

>PM me if interested!