46 British man in seeks someone VERY specific

While beggars cannot be choosers, I am a very awesome person and therefore have the following criteria for a "fun in the sack" partner.

You should be between 4'2" and 7'10"

You should be between the ages of 23 and 69

You should be heavier than a pillow

You should NOT have posted on social media any of the following words, unless they were used ironically: 1) Plandemic 2) Libtards 3) Woke

Speaking of social media, you should not have 5 or more 'friends' who have a profile pic of themselves wearing sunglasses, while in their truck.

You should also be in possession of more than one, but less than 12 boobs.

If you happen to check off all, or most, of these requirements - message me and let's get this ball rolling.