BFF position open, apply within!!

\* No experience needed, applicant will be trained

\* Paid in memes and pup pics

\* Must work weekends and holidays

\* Must be fluent in sarcasm

\* Must come in early and stay late

\* Benefits include being my bff and that’s about the best benefit ever.

I'm guessing you're wanting to know about me now huh? Well you're in luck because I feel like sharing some Fun Hobbies (lol jk they aren't fun at all, kinda sad TBH) I like to partake in, here there are!

Hobbies include...

\* Switching between the same 4 apps for hours.

\* Not speaking to anyone for days at a time.

\* Listening to the same songs i listened to 15 years ago.

\* Putting myself in situations that will never exist

\* Long walks to the liquor store.

\* Staying in my pajamas way too long.

\* Staying up wayyyy too late.

\* Being tired all day due to previous statement.

\* Drinking everything but water.

\* Putting stuff in my cart online but never checking out.

\* Making lists of things i will never do.

So yeah! If that sounds like your type of friend, hit me with an orange envelope. Due to difficulty with trying to keep a conversation with someone with the opposite schedule, please be somewhat close to central time. Or just like…not opposite Lol. Mention the phrase Pineapple on pizza so I know you read the entire thing please 😊