Brother committed suicide this weekend. Just want anyone to talk to.

This last month has just been kicking me while I'm down. To start earlier in the month my roommates decided they couldn't afford the place any more and decided to just up and leave on me. They left me with the bill, a trashed house, and nowhere to live.

Thankfully my friend's parents have taken me in for a few weeks while i look for a new place. Unfortunately that's where my luck ends. I was told the day before my older brother's car was found on the side of the road with the keys still inside but he was MIA. I didn't find out until the next day in the middle of moving that they had found his body.

My whole life I've been compared to him. Its like this giant shadow that's always loomed over me is suddenly gone and I'm so lost. I always kinda liked being compared to him. My brother had a brilliant mechanical mind so I was honored to be compared to him. I wish i could be more like him in that way. He always taught me the coolest stuff that I shouldn't have known as a kid like making a potato gun. What kind of sibling gives a little kid a potato gun?

I don't want to ramble too long so people can actually make it through this. I'd love to hear from anyone I could use the distraction from my own brain.