I Will Disappoint You So Hard

If you want someone boring and indifferent, I'm your guy. BEWARE: I’m addictive and you might become attached. Don't. I don't want a connection, or friendship, or something more. I don't even want to be here.

You will be disappointed; like parent-level disappointment. My favorite color is beige. I don't like paprika because it has too much kick. I wish there were more flavors of instant oatmeal.
M41, EST. I have kids, but I won’t be able to pay for the inevitable therapy sessions they will need. I don't like pets, so please don't show me pics of your "cute" dog.
I won't ask you any questions. I'm especially fond of one word answers (yes/no being my favs) and will probably ignore you at some point.

I don't do self-care, and haven't exercised in... well ever. That being said, the ladies at my grandma's crib night say I'm handsome and the woman working the cash when I buy groceries calls me "sweetie". So I must be pretty hot.
So if you want to be disappointed, send me a chat. Or don't, I don't care and probably won't answer anyways.