My Pros & Cons, a memoir

Pros:

\* Let’s get one thing straight, if there’s a song from the early 2000s or before, I will be belting it out in the car like I’m headlining a sold out concert. No exceptions.

\* I’m an INFJ (which could be a pro or a red flag depending on how deep into Myers Briggs you are), and I’m definitely funOntario. Not “haha sometimes” funOntario, like, consistently laugh-until-you-snort funOntario. You’ll see.

\* You won’t need to prove you’re human with me, I’ve passed enough CAPTCHAs for the both of us. Also, I still write in full sentences and occasionally use punctuation, which is basically a lost art at this point.

\* Love memes? Buckle up. Love puppy pics? I’ve got two adorable rescue dogs who know they’re cute and work the camera like it’s their job.

\* If you’re looking for someone who listens and offers advice…well, I will listen. And I’ll give advice, whether it’s helpful or unhinged is TBD.

Now for the Cons (because we’re honest around here):

\* People? Not really my thing.

\* i wear a crossbody bag in public. Proudly.

\* I rarely let a song play all the way through, chaos reigns.

\* I curse a fuckin’ lot.

\* I sing in the shower.

\* I sometimes spend way too much time volunteering.

\* Occasionally I may or may not hit someone with my car.

Need more pros? I can call my mom.

Need more cons? My friends have a Google Doc.

If you’re somewhere near Central Time (or not living life upside down from me), let’s talk! Bonus points if you message me with the phrase “pineapple on pizza” so I know you made it all the way down here. 🍍🍕