Oh You Know, just Looking for the LOML or something like it, that's all...

So here's the Carfax *~~on why I'm~~* *~~totally super awesome~~**~~:~~*

* 1/4 of a century
* Even though I suck at cooking, I can bake you a mean loaf of bread
* I'll laugh at all your *~~horrible~~* great dad jokes
* I've lived in several dozen houses between 3 continents and a handful of US states, so I'm pretty open minded and well traveled
* Pretty small so I don't need to be watered often
* I'm employed *(not the best job, but I do have an interview on Friday for a better one, so wish me luck!)*
* I'm lactose intolerant/allergic to dairy but I still eat it anyways because momma didn't raise a lil' b\*tch *(but I will occasionally rip a sour one...I'm sorry)*
* I like to be the big spoon which means you totally get to be the little spoon
* Bit of a morning owl so I can make you breakfast before work
* I have a great credit score *\*finger guns\**
* I do yoga so I'm kind of flexible
* I'm terrified of bugs, even the smallest ones but you'll get a kick out of watching me freak out over them
* I eat the pizza crusts, floss at least once a day, and don't wear socks to bed because I'm not uncouth

My only requirements are that you must be 21 years old or older, can at least count to 37, and that you don't wear socks to bed. *(It's totally fine if you don't eat the pizza crusts, more for me!)*

If all of this intrigues you, please send me a direct message via carrier pigeon at your earliest convenience. I live in the hot state, the one right next to the newer Toronto. I'll be waiting...

Edit: thanks for the silver and gold and platinum, I don't know what they mean, but thank y'all!!!! <3<3<3