41 | tonight's fantasy

My heart is beating fast. The one glass of red (after the three of white) took me over the edge. I'm lying in a friend's shockingly comfortable pull-out couch under a thick duvet, my tight shiny yoga pants clinging between my thighs and gently teasing my clit. My cotton shirt hugs and teases my erect nipples. It's dark. Too dark. I sink into acceptance and let go of the past. Or try to. I press myself into the future. One where maybe you are pressed against me. Deep inside of me.

It's hard to imagine you, who you are. But I know how you feel. I know how your strong hands feel around me. How I immediately surrender to you. Because I long to be your good girl. To show you that I can be more than enough to give you what you need. Maybe I can't be. I'm not some sweet soft girl who is perfect for you. I can't be that. I'm just me. Maybe you love to hate me. Love to use me. Because you know all I want is to please you. And you need that. You need to know that I'm completely incapacitated by the thought of you, by day and night dreaming of you filling me with every last milimeter of your thickness, spreading me open as our lips press against each other and we find escape in how we don't know where either of us begin or end. I need you, that's all I know. I need you to need me to need you this much. In fantasy land. Of course. We aren't crazy. We are just basic mom and dad who need more. So much more.