46 posts are so repetitive. Every time I see “hiking” listed as a hobby, I mentally substitute “anal”, just to keep this interesting.

(And now you’ve read this, you’ll do it too. You’re welcome.)

I spent last weekend deep cleaning the carpets, because at some point I became the kind of person who owns a carpet cleaner. Except it’s worse than that: I think the carpet cleaning might have been fun.

Wait, that’s no way to write an post. Next thing you know, I’ll be saying my other hobbies are rolling fluff out of the lint trap into satisfying shapes and meticulously working out the square footage for supplies at Home Depot for projects I’m going to pretend I’ll start after the pandemic ends.

No, I’m much more exciting than that.

.

.

.

ok, I’m not. I’m a kind of boring person wracking my brain for any tidbit that would make me seem interesting to total strangers whom I’d nonetheless love to impress. It’s hard, but I’ll try:

* I become overly invested in competition reality shows, even if I know less than nothing about the topic. ("oh c'mon buddy, that’s no way to forge a Javanese kris…")
* I’m reading *Infinite Jest.* Somewhere out there is some member who’s reading it too and wants to talk about this. I just know it.
* I have never lost a pair of sunglasses, not in my entire life.
* My daydreams involve characters in a book I’m not going to write and which I refuse to tell anyone about.
* I'd like to meet people more or less around my age. Old enough to have died of dysentery at least once.
* I’m completely single, just like you. (Seriously, be single. Even if you’re thinking, “I just want to chat about hiking and would not actually date you even if you paid me in cheddar cheese popcorn and Klondike bars.” Because that usually does work, but not this time.)
* I prefer this site messages to chat.

I’m going to bed, and when I wake up, there will be a red envelope. That’s how this works, right? If you don’t know what to say, tell me about your nerdiest / weirdest / most mundane hobbies.

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I took down my crosspost because I don't feel like dealing with comments, but if you're reading this and feel like responding, shoot me a message! I'll take it down when I don't feel like getting responses anymore.