a blue, depressed, lonely internet stranger in search of a like soul to connect with.

Loneliness, a ten letter word. This simple ten letter word is the one I’d use to define myself in any "getting to know you" exercise. I’ve always been surrounded by people and yet I still suffer from chronic loneliness. I thought it was a side-effect of not being seen nor heard but I think it's more so the fact that I'm searching for something that I know doesn't exist so I block out everything else. I prefer to have conversations where candor is the leading lady, I don’t need to live in anyone’s fantasy world. I'm depressed. I do everything I can to combat the depression but it's still there, lurking. I'm also struggling with severe insomnia so all time zones work for me. Last night I slept for a total of two and a half hours, which was long for me. I don't think I'll sleep tonight. Keep me company?

I’m desperate for human interaction, a connection, something that plants itself in my soul and immediately warms it. I just want to feel again. Right now I don't know how to be anything other than lonely. Whenever the warmth leaves I immediately revert back to my cold isolated state. I'm hopeful that you could become my permanent warmth but I'm also realistic and aware that this is this site. My person probably doesn't exist on here and if he does, he won't stick around for long. And yet, here I am, holding out my hand, hoping that someone will grasp it. Sometimes whenever I think it’s getting close, something happens and they let go. Granted, it's normally my fault but I'm still waiting for the day that someone refuses to let go. I want my hand to be held on to. I’ll do my utmost best to hold yours back.