Bipolar gal with big depression energy seeks big wildcard energy

[This is me]( when I’m manic and hypersexual, because you know, that’s the only time I ever feel confident enough to take pictures of myself. These days I look more like a garbage bag full of year old coffee grinds, eggshells, and banana peels, adorned in a baggy gray sweatshirt with snot stains all over the sleeves.

It’s 2pm and I’m staring at a blank word document. What do I write? Who am I writing to? Do I even have the energy for this? I keep typing, highlighting, replacing, and deleting everything until there’s nothing but an empty word document again. But the loneliness floods the empty space, it thrives there, so there’s no choice but to drape it in a meaningless series of words.

Just relax. Smoke. Right, that’s better. Remember, you’re just writing something to an anonymous some one. Like a stranger, but better because you don’t see that look of disgust on his face as he struggles to ingest your word vomit. Anyway, you suddenly feel like practicing a couple songs from Ocarina of Time on your keyboard.

It’s 3:45pm. Oh hey, missed u. Thank you for being patient. Is it just me or is it prime cuddling hour right now? Smirking emoji.

6:30pm. This was all a mistake.

It’s noon the next day. How am I supposed to explain the 18 hour time gap? I don’t know, I watched Seinfeld for 2 hours, burritoed myself into a blanket, and went to bed at 7pm ok, I DON’T KNOW. I feel like a frog. You’ve seen videos of frogs. They just sit there all frog-like while something happens to them, struggling to react in any sensible way, swept away with the current. I can’t seem to do anything today.

Maybe you should write something more… directed? Medium paragraphs separated with a nice bolded summary or bullet points about your hobbies and interests, as if there were any and they had any bearing on this entire exchange. Nah, keep it short, simple, vaguely alluding to but not totally delving into how dysfunctional you are as a person. That’s the winner. Cool, ok, I can do this.