Different perspectives...

So I posted and received many responses. I had jokingly said that only 10% of the responders would actually meet all the criteria I asked for. I had a conversation with someone yesterday that really made me think. I have been distraught lately thinking I must be different somehow.

That that magical conversation I'm looking for hasn't happened because I have changed. Admittedly I have been less than excited about this search lately, but during this conversation with a very nice man it all started to make sense. When I read a post I make sure I check all the boxes.

If a man says he wants something that I don't offer completely, but I feel there may be potential I start off with something like, "I would like to chat with you, but I am not xyz. If you are still interested message me." It is respectful of the poster who took the time to go into detail about what they want so no one's time is wasted and so you can have a conversation with someone who fits your needs, but because most don't seem to care if they fit the needs, instead of a conversation we end up having an interview of twenty questions.

I realize I'm going to get the "Hit me up" messages and the "Hey" messages. What frustrates me is when a man puts a ton effort into his response and we start having a conversation and he seems to check every box. Then I find out a day or two or three later that he doesn't meet one of the things I asked for.

Maybe he didn't think it was important, but I guarantee if he put in his post that he wanted things to get sexual at some point and three days in I said, "Oh by the way, you'll never see my boobs!" He would think I had wasted his time. So men, when you respond to a post just remember when a woman asks for something in her post, it is important to her no matter how insignificant it may seem to you.

I actually have a lot of respect for a man who starts his reply by addressing something that may not be a good fit, because he is letting me decide if it's something I can compromise on or not. If you want to have those magical conversations it would be helpful if women didn't always have to question the men that are responding like it's an interview.

Sorry for venting. Maybe this will help one lucky person find their match.