> all over the world.

Hi

I hope this year has started in a great way for you!

Look. I understand how frustrated you must feel. Girls only want one thing and it is fucking disgusting. You just want to be appreciated for your witty jokes, intelligence and kind heart, but all those hungry courting ladies see is your head filled with hair and a full set of teeth.

You have been single for a little while now, maybe you have broken up from your first relationship that lasted for 3 years. You have tried Tinder and going to parties but you feel overwhelmed by the constant bombardment and vag pics and whatnot and then there was this incident of one of your Tinder matches figuring out where you live and showing up at your front door, and then your university “friends” showing their true colours one by one you just went – fuck it. That’s it, I am trying something different. And then you asked your friend who found her foreign girlfriend in this site and you think to yourself, that sounds insane but hey why not try it? It could be romantic. Or then the other person can be a clinically insane kidnapper. But you never know.

&;

And here you are. And let me tell you, I am here to save you M’Gentlesir. I will woo you like a gentleman you should be woo-od (uh?).

I live in Toronto but am open to men all over this universe. I don’t want to brag but I am especially educated on American culture since I lived for 8 months with a girl from Ontario and we had the best time. We took long naps together and one time we were a bit drunk and renamed her cat back home Shalrus, like a walrus and Sharon combined since her cat was carrying a little holiday weight and the embodiment of every woman asking to see the manager ever. Not going to lie, we had some cultural differences. She was horrified the first times she was at a party and everyone went to sauna together completely naked, I didn’t know what to say when she casually told me how her dad bought her first gun as a graduation present.

Speaking of cultural differences, there will probably be some. Maybe my values as a Nordic person my values can feel be a bit radical communist-ish for you but as long as you are not one of those people who thinks the South will rise again (without abortion clinics) and the sentence “health care is a privilege” gives you a semi, we are going to be just fine.