Looking for my reptilian overlord

Hello fellow lizard people. Just as the title states, I’m looking for another lizard to be friends with. Or if you want to form a nice courtship with me that’s fine too but I’m more into being friends first.

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**Criteria:**

* Be equivalent or better than the biggest reptilian overlord there is - Mark Zuckerberg
* You can have anywhere between 0 - 4 feet
* Have maximum 12 braincells
* Open to eating anything except insects
* Survived a lizard trap

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**Please don’t:**

* Send me pictures of insects, I will blocc…
* Send me pictures of your tail. I don’t really care about your reptile dysfunction.
* Message me with a mere “hello” or “sup”. I will ignore these, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

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If you happen to not be a lizard person, that’s okay I guess… So if you manage to fulfil all these criteria, feel free to Slytherin to my chat :-) Please tell me your name, age and gender so I’ll have a rough idea of who I’m talking to! It'll be great if you can send me a face pic too, but if not that's completely okay. Talk to you soon! Hiss hiss 🐍

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PS: If it isn’t obvious enough, I’m not actually a lizard, nor do I want to being one. Just thought this would be funny lmao I had a lot of fun writing this! I hope this amuses you just as much as it amused me.

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Edit: Why am I being downvoted? :-(