I’ve got a lot of issues

What issues, you might ask? Well, if you’re sincerely interested in being turned off and have no intention of messaging me, then here you go. I’m:

\* too funny
\* too witty
\* too intelligent
\* too handsome
\* too caring
\* too thoughtful
\* too selfless
\* too good at sex
\* too blessed where it counts
\* incredibly humble

I can’t imagine that after reading the above, anyone would be too interested, but if by some miracle there’s a woman out there who thinks they’re the one to fix me, then I guess message me.