My birthday is this weekend, help me pretend I have friends by talking to me. I swear I'm worth it. (pic included)

[FACE REVEAL HERE](

First time typing that I'm 34, my birthday is on Sunday! Getting old is fun. Speaking of which, it's gonna be slightly depressing when the only people who bring it up are family members. No, my life doesn't suck and I'm not miserable, just a little lonely. Most of my friends recently disappeared once they entered serious relationships or moved and I don't have many people to keep me entertained anymore. I'll try and return the favor, promise.

I'm in the EST but I do stay up pretty late, so I'm not that concerned with your location. I'm looking to chat via text or a messaging app, not the biggest fan of endless PMs. I'm not going into this with the goal of finding an internet boyfriend and have pretty low expectations, so I hope you do too. Ideally I'd like someone who can talk throughout the day or night consistently and doesn't lose interest easily. If you can last more than a day or two I'll be seriously impressed. Sup with ghosting?

This is about to get long-winded real quick, but I figure it's a fair warning for how I am over text too, so...

**Examples of things I enjoy and want to discuss, but am not limited to:**

* Any holy grail products that make you feel like a better human. What did you recently purchase at Target or on Amazon? I will probably wanna tell you about what I wanna buy from Lush or Sephora, and you can tell me about your latest obsessions too. Can you tell I have no female friends to talk to?
* What you're currently watching. I'm a big fan of Binging With Babish, Bon Appetit, American Horror Story, campy dramas, and secretly I watch quite a bit of reality TV that involves women drinking too much and yelling or 90 Day Fiance and Love After Lockup. I also like documentaries involving true crime and serial killers, sex work, To Catch a Predator reruns, basically anything \~\*taboo\*\~, I should have been a Sociologist. Bonus points if you know anything about the current Onision situation or want to discuss beauty guru drama like LipstickGate.
* 80s punk and hardcore, post-punk and mellower indie. I used to collect records but have switched to makeup. I'm really good at making playlists and giving music suggestions, which are not limited to the aforementioned genres.
* Recipes you want to try or pics of food you've recently ate or made. Tell me who your fav chef is and why. I like to think that one day I will be a blonde local version of Nigella Lawson in the