professional amateur ski bum in mourning

The 2025/26 ski season is officially dead to me. 300,000 vertical feet later, and the silence that came after the lift shut down is still haunting me and my dreams. It was eerie to lose that familiar gentle hum that had been the steady soundtrack to 400 euphoria inducing runs. Now my skis are waxed and stored, and frankly, I’m a little heartbroken.

I’m currently navigating the five stages of grief, and I’ve decided to skip straight to "bargaining." I’m looking for a discreet partner to help me heal my broken winter spirit. I need a spring fling or a summer romance. At the rate these posts hit; I figure I should start now.

To mark the end of this era, I’m heading to the barber tomorrow for my quarterly "shearing." My massive ginger beard is being buzzed down to a length that says "I'm not a threat to the government; just hiding my 2nd chin". Despite skiing on the weekends and CrossFit during the week, I have a sweet tooth and you can only out train your diet so much.

The Dual Recovery: I’m a man of two modes, much like my quiver of skis:

\* The Nordics Enforcer Side: My "spreadsheets and correspondence" persona. Masters-educated, WFH bureaucrat, politically left leaning, and a voracious reader (1,000+ volumes in my personal library). This side is currently bored and looking for intellectual stimulation.

\* The Armada Side: This is the side of me that rides the pink ARV88s (😈). It’s playful, adventurous, and—right now—feeling very neglected.

What I'm looking for: A smart, sharp-witted woman who doesn't mind a "rebound" from winter. Ideally you're between the ages of 30-46 years old. Someone who can help me replace the endorphin rush of a steep descent with something a bit more... indoor and offseason friendly. My WFH schedule offers plenty of flexibility for the right person. Yappers and chatty Kathy's to the front of the line!

If you’re a grieving skier; movie nerd; a fellow bookworm; or just someone who wants to help a ski bum in mourning find a new reason to look forward to the spring and summer, send me a message.

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