To the ladies of the OA community

Before I start, I want to say “Thank you!” I’ve had some wonderful experiences and have really gotten to know a few of you.
There have been a few posts from women giving men advice on answering ads and general tips for having better OAs. I thought I’d switch it up and give the ladies some advice from my personal experience on this site. (Most of this also applies to the men on the site, as well).

1. When answering an ad that asks for a PM only, don’t be surprised if your this site chat request isn’t answered. If it is answered, don’t be surprised when asked to switch to a different platform.

2. Most of the time, physical appearance matters (yes, even in an online affairs ad). People have different preferences here. Don’t be offended if you aren’t someone’s type. (I’m often not.) Be willing to share a picture early, if physical appearance matters to either person. You can have the best personality in the world, but if i can’t picture myself with you (or vise versa) it’s not going to work out.

3. Be willing to verify you’re a real person and don’t be surprised if I ask you to do something weird to verify you’re real. (People lie...shocking, I know)

4. Be reciprocal in conversation. If we’ve chatted all day, but you haven’t asked me any questions about myself, I’m going to think you aren’t interested and move on. Same goes for if we’ve been in a conversation for a week and I’m the first to message every day. Basically, if you’re interested, show interest.

5. If you aren’t interested (for literally any reason), tell me. The worst thing is thinking you’ve connected with someone and then having them ghost you. It sucks. (I’ve been on both sides of this, I’ve learned from my mistakes. Sorry to those I’ve hurt along my journey.)

6. If you think you’ve been ghosted, you probably have. Don’t spam them with messages. They are an asshole and you should move on.

7. In that same thought, let me know when you lose your privacy throughout the day. Going 2+ hours with silence without knowing why can be frustrating.

8. Be honest about what you want. Do you want feelings or keep it casual? Do you want to quickly or slowly get into sex talk?